Friday, January 15, 2010

Day Three On Chemo

I am not the best at posting every thing I probably should but I will attempt again to do a little thought sharing. I don't know that anyone really looks forward to hearing words like "you have cancer" but for some of us it really seemed inevitable. I have told my wife for a long time that I "knew" that I would end up with cancer someday and sure enough it came. I am not a pessimist and I do believe that God has been preparing me for this for awhile, how well He has prepared me remains to be seen.

Jan and I have been at the Roger Maris Cancer Center in Fargo (you betcha) North Dakota for the last three days. We haven't had to stay here but have had to be hear for the three successive days of chemo. I was really optimistic about being able to handle the chemo really well and about 1/2 hour into my first drug (Ru toxin) I started to feel terrible and thought "this is going to be along three days" but a fine nurse and staff adjusted some anti-nausea drugs and when restarted I have really not had any major side effects. For that I am grateful... back to part of my theme for this blog.

In reading my book called Choosing Gratitude I realize that I really need to step up in my gratitude to God almighty. I've said for a long time that I think people are made up basically in three ways; we are physical, emotional, and I believe everyone at some level is spiritual. At the very least I mean that people are spiritual because I would think almost all wonder if there is life after death and if there is anything they can do about it at all.

There are a great many things I don't know, but I know for sure that there is indeed a heaven and a hell and really believe I have been given God-given glimpses into both. But for those that think that when they die they die and all that happens is that rot in the ground I can understand that thinking even if I don't agree with it. Nominal agnostics my allow for a God but think if there is a God he will see that although not perfect but better than most and by that merit "I should get in if there is indeed a heaven." especially if God is the benevolent grandfather type we want to believe he is if indeed He does exist. The agnostic comment reminds me of a joke, "What do you have when you have an insomniac, agnostic, dyslexic? .... Someone who lies in bed at night and wonders if there really is a dog."

He is indeed the most loving being imaginable but He is also the most just and He does not ignore sin, He deals with it in the most serious ways cause it is what He hates the most. It is the lone thing that keeps us from becoming all that He has created us to be and it is what keeps us separated from a persona intimacy with the creator God of the universe. Think about it, an omniscient, omnipresent, omnipotent God who wants to have a personal relationship and our stupid, obstinate, prideful selves think, "I can do this better then God can, I know myself better then the One who created me for a reason knows me?"

To those that believe we just die and rot I must ask the question, "What if you are wrong?" If I would happen to be wrong and you right, I would just rot in the ground but if I'm right.....

Point is, if we are indeed emotional, physical and spiritual as I suggested earlier then when we die and we all will, the only thing that has a chance of "continuing is our spiritual side. Obviously, physically we die, and our emotions disappear, our "spirit" is the only part that could possibly continue into the next stage of the life-after-life experience. Yet how much time do any of us spend on that aspect of our selves. People spend a lot of obvious time on the physical aspect of their being, and certainly there are many who spend thousands of hours on therapy for their emotional well being and that is all fine an well, but how much time do we spend on the prospect of "eternal things."

I spend quite a bit and yet feel like I fail to really embrace what I know and how I should respond.

I am going to try to put a link here from a short You Tube selection from Penn Gillett of Penn and Teller fame where someone gives him a bible and though he is an atheist he says a couple of interesting things: here is the link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZhG-tkQ_Q2w If this doesn't work ..

he said one thing that stuck with me. He said paraphrased, "If indeed you believe that people may indeed go to hell and burn and you are not proselytizing then how much do you really believe and how much do you really care and love others who you think are headed for certain doom. (His analogy is would you help someone standing in front of an on-coming train or would you let them go to their certain death?)

I ask God to give me opportunities all the time to share my faith. Sometimes I miss opportunities and I feel terrible when I do so. Just let me say today, "There is a heaven and a hell and I am going to heaven, not on the basis of what I have done but totally on accepting the free gift of eternal salvation and all the glory and wonderment that goes with it as God offered it to me. I am a sinner (I have fallen short of God's perfect standards far to many times to count but he is faithful to forgive.) This He promises. So think about it... I'm telling you cause I love you and I really don't want you going to hell. Hell is what we all really deserve and yet God gives us the perfect out....Jesus. Let me just say, Thank you Jesus for being the justice God requires and for offering the forgiveness none of us deserve, not the best humanitarian, nor the worst criminal. "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." Some of us worse than others.

1 comment:

  1. Emery, you wrote about the physical, emotional and spiritual elements and posed the question about howmuch time we (people) devote to the spiritual element. That's a key message that people need to hear. Nothing is more important; it's all we have.

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